Once upon a time, in a land marred by rash public spending, a hirsute, though balding, man was shuffling through the back streets of Govan when he spied a dumpy dwarf in the distance. Quickening his pace, he set off in pursuit. His little fat hairy legs pumping faster and faster as he strode masterfully over the rain-drenched cobbles. Globules of sweat streaked from his brow, collecting on his oversize eyebrows before cascading down to his cheeks in a maelstrom of salty desperation.
“Hey you, wee thing.” He shouted. “Stop I wan tae talk to yea.”
The foul-mouthed reply was one that I cannot repeat but, suffice to say, one which Beaker is familiar with.
“I wan tae offer yea a job, lassie.” He shouted.
She stopped and turned to face him. “A job ye say?”
“Ay, a job.” He replied.
Rising to her full height of five feet two inches, she shouted back at him. “What kinda job?”
“Ma name is Alex Salmond and I’m in charge o’ the Scottish Nationalist Party, perhaps yea have heard of me?”
“No what?”
“No, I’ve nae heard o’yea.”
“Oh, nae bother. Are ye interested in yon politics?”
“I could be, dae it pay loads o’cash?”
“Och aye lassie, loads o’ other peoples cash.”
“What would I heft to dae?”
“I‘ll ask yea a couple o; wee questions first. What dea yea think o’ the World?”
“I dinna, its flat, move on!”
“Mm, What dae you think o’ the English?”
“I dinna, they’re shite, move on!”
“Do yea think that Scotland can rule the World?”
“Och aye, as long as somebody else pays for it, ye ken?”
“Yea sound like yea are just the wee lassie I’m looking for as my Deputy.”

So was born a partnership from Hell. Salmond and Sturgeon went on to lie and bully their way into Scottish folklore. In true communist style, we have, in Sturgeon, a politician who has never been elected to represent any Ward or Constituency. A political failure who has always been in the right place at the right time. It is no wonder that she is slavishly in awe of the despicable EU as the Scottish Parliament is run on similar lines.
I have no doubt that she has many degrees one, I suspect, in Hypocrisy as it drips off her tongue like saliva at a chocolate tasting fayre. Realism is not in this deluded woman’s remit, as she is not someone who wants to see ‘the bigger picture’, she blatantly ignores real issues, going for sensationalism instead.

I hate austerity cuts as much as the next person but, as someone who has experienced real poverty through debt, I know that you have to pull your belt in and do without. You have to do it in order to build your finances back up to a point where, if you are sensible, you will almost always be able to ride out a financial storm. It is not an easy thing to do and it carries a vast amount of frustration and resentment but it is worth it.
The big danger is when you can see light at the end of the tunnel. This is the time when you have to resist strongest, when you have to deny temptation and carry on until you break through into the light.

Sturgeon and those on the Left (including the back-stabbing LibDems) have seen a pin-prick of light and believe that all out financial troubles are over. It seems that short-sightedness goes with amnesia in the halls of Westminster.
It is easy to see why this smiling assassin is so popular on both sides of the border. She speaks the language of the have-nots and wannabe’s. Appealing to them in dulcet tones whilst spitting vitriol at the government of the day, she gives the impression of someone in charge. A person of extreme confidence and piety, the Mother Theresa of Scottish politics.
Then, the veil drops! You look behind the rhetoric, behind the thin-lipped smile and realise that you have just heard a pack of lies. Words strung together in such a way that you are left believing that only her cloud has a silver lining. Her cloud though is a rain cloud which will send forth floods of debt within a very few short months. In order to spend you need to earn and nowhere in the SNP manifesto is there any mention of earning. She talks about investments but neglects to say that the money she proposes to invest will first have to be borrowed. She talks about oil revenue but neglects to inform you that this revenue is entirely dependent on the volatile oil market which, at the moment, is still on a low. In fact, the only source of revenue upon which she can depend is the extortionate amount which Scotland receives by grace of the Barnett Formula. A formula which Barnett himself has called “a terrible mistake.”

South of the border we can do little about the SNP and their extraordinary rise in Scotland. However, we can make sure that there will not be a Labour / SNP coalition by not voting for Labour. This is just one of the many reasons why no sensible person should vote for Labour and it is up there in the top five. Labour will be decimated as a political force in Scotland, let us start that process in England. History has shown that no good has ever come from a Labour government. It also shows that the old to and fro of British politics has held the country back.
A new direction is needed, some common sense is required and the only Party qualified to offer that is the United Kingdom Independence Party. So, when your pen is poised over the ballot paper on May 7th remember, just before you make your mark, who lied about a referendum, who got us into debt, who reneged on tuition fees, who oversaw the needless deaths of thousands of patients in the NHS, who covered up the appalling sex crimes against our children? The only name that does not come up is UKIP so, look down the page, find your UKIP candidate and put you X next to their name.



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