Welcome to Hypocrites Anonymous, a volunteer organisation dedicated to those in society whom truly believe that the feelings of gross insincerity that they hold is a gift. Of necessity we have an ‘open book’ policy and work on the basis of complete transparency. Our doors always being open to those poor unfortunates in denial and dwelling in the realms of fantasy.
Unsurprisingly our workload is always heavy due to hypocrisy reaching epidemic proportions along the corridors of power. The feigning of feelings, beliefs and virtues that the people who populate these heady towers do not possess puts them; in their minds at least, above and beyond normal citizens. They become adept at lies and deceit and, therefore, will only seek help as a last resort – if at all. Take, for example, one Nicholas William Peter Clegg. Here we have a man born into a World of privilege and surfeit. A man with a surfeit of Christian names, a surfeit of homes and a surfeit of grandiose ideas. The very same “Nick” Clegg who proclaims to have the ‘common’ touch. The man, who has never wanted for anything, The political leader in tune with the man on the street.
How we would love to get him into one of our programmes. He should be crying out for help because we believe that he has reached the stage of ‘delusional hypocrisy’. This is where an individual becomes a danger to himself and to the public. Take for example his obsession with, what he sees as, ‘modern Britain’. His vision precludes all people born in this country prior to 1968. He has a scathing contempt for those in retirement and it was he, who in 2004 chaired a working group for the LibDems on the ‘Third Age’. This focused on ending, what he referred to as, ‘the cliff edge’ of retirement and providing greater opportunities for older people to remain active beyond retirement. In other words, work until you drop but cleverly disguised in flowery, patronisingly caring terms designed to deflect from his true meaning.
Notwithstanding his dismissal of the older generation, he sees the future of this country in the hands of people not native to Britain because in “Nick’s World” ethnic Brits are not fit or able to run their own affairs hence, his castigation of people over the age of forty five and the extraordinary statement in an article he wrote in 2002. In it he stated:
“All nations have a cross to bear and none more so than Germany with its memories of Nazism. But the British cross is more insidious still. A misplaced sense of superiority, sustained delusions of grandeur and a tenacious obsession with the last war, is much harder to shake off.”
This individual is a disgrace to Great Britain and to the position of power that he holds within the Cabinet. We in this organisation did not think that we would see a bigger hypocrite than John Prescott hold the post of Deputy Prime Minister but, due to the nature of the work that we do, we are constantly astounded. Nicholas William Peter Clegg urgently needs to contact us. His raging hypocrisy is obviously completely out of control and he needs help. As my wife often says: “If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck; it’s a duck!”
Come in Clegg your time is up!